Success at Last

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”  ~Sir Winston Churchill

Throughout all the years of my childhood I dreamed of becoming an author. At eight I wrote textbooks for my dolls. By eleven I was composing my own page-long novels. Until I began writing college application essays, writing never daunted me. The moment I clicked the “apply now” button something changed. I went from enjoying and succeeding in writing, to uncertainly questioning and even dreading the flashing cursor on an empty page. Going from failure to failure, I discovered God’s test to give me patience, His strength in my weakness, and assurance in a lifelong dream.

As I sat in front of the computer, the white screen glaring back, I began the struggle. I outlined. I wrote. I rewrote. I edited. I deleted. I restarted. Each college required a unique essay, presenting a new struggle, a new frustration, and a new failure. At first I blamed summer vacation for the rusty wheels in my brain. Though I had never before doubted my calling to write, I began to lose hope. Yet, with the aid of a push and some encouragement from my parents, I never stopped persevering –writing and rewriting. God was sanctifying me, teaching me patience.

When I realized my position in God’s refining furnace, I began to recognize the futility of relying on my own strength. The rusty wheels in my brain would never spin with my own prodding. Yet, I am not abandoned to my own ineptitude. When I fail, I can trust in the God who does not fail remembering His words, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9; NKJV). I have hope through the promises in God’s Word; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

As I survey this page, full of words, I smile. The wheels in my head are spinning, and letters fill the void spaces of the screen. Because I went “from failure to failure without losing [my] enthusiasm,” I can revel in the joy of success. I am assured of my dream to write, and with patience and reliance on God, I can pursue this ambition. God has given me a heart for writing since my youth, and I am reassured, now, more than ever, that my writing will be a tool in His hand for the furtherance of His Kingdom.

In hindsight, I have joy in my little trial, “knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:3). This experience forced me to learn patience and rely on God’s strength. Now, I can “glory in . . . exaltation” because of my humiliation (James 1:9). Instead of staring with churning stomach at the “apply now” button, I can press, “submit now” with satisfaction, not in my own strength, but in God’s work through me. I have found Sir Winston Churchill’s “success” in my God-given perseverance and enthusiasm. With renewed vigor, I can pursue my passion for writing and fulfill my dream to write for God’s glory, that others might see Him through my writing.

This entry was posted in Essays. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Success at Last

  1. Agnes Tan says:

    Ah, the quote is perfect!
    The next time writer’s block starts to creep up on me and I despair, I will remember this post. It’s inspiring to meet someone who responds to writer’s block with rejoicing instead of hair-pulling. ^_^

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s